There is a lot of turmoil, conflict, pain anger going out around in the world whether it’s the COVID lockdowns or some of the riots and protests around Black Lives Matter or countries that are going to war right now or maybe even some turmoil within yourself in your home tough financial situations so many of us have a lot going on right now.
If you found this article, then you’re seeking a way to feel more positive and happy, and we are going to help you do that.
One of the research from Harvard University shared that the number one thing that was correlated to happiness was this sense of self-agency.
It means how much control you feel like you have over your life and your situation. Let’s think about that for a second.
Anytime we’re feeling negative or demotivated or let down, it’s often because we feel like we’re a victim, and we feel like we are at the effect of all the things that are happening to us in our lives and we don’t feel in control. Of course, there are lots of things that don’t depend on us, whether it is a financial crisis, war, or pandemic.
So, it’s absolutely essential that we identify the things we can control, identify the things we can’t control, focus on those we can control, and we release the things we can’t control
There are things in our life that we can control and the more that we focus on the things we can control, we get this sense of self-agency, we feel like we’re able to move forward.
As humans, we’re strong, we’re not afraid of a worthy challenge, we just don’t like to get beat down when we feel like we have no chance.
What if we rewire our psychology a little bit and find those things we have a fighting chance with, and then we can focus our energies on that worthy fight and move forward?
When it comes to happiness, basically, it is three things: health, meaningful work, and loving relationships.
There’s a lot of wisdom in it because one of the things that we almost always can control outside of having a health situation happen to you is our health. If your current stressor is financial or relational, we always have our health, we can control what we put into our bodies in terms of the foods we eat, and we can control the movement that we do every day with exercise. Guess what good eating and good exercise and good sleep – it makes us feel happier.
It alters our brain chemistry positively, and it helps us feel more focused and energized. What we ingest affects our mood our neurochemical balance, how we move helps us feel more positive, so our health is a pillar we can invest in.
When it comes to meaningful work, and this is absolutely essential when it comes to our positivity and motivation – humans want a sense of purpose.
We want to find meaning into what we can invest energy into, and right now, there are a lot of people who are very angry because they don’t have this sense of meaning, and they’re taking it out and all over in different kinds of the world.
Where can we find meaning in our lives and create meaningful work? This comes down to doing some self-inquiry on what really lights us up. Some may say passions and stuff like that. That’s good and valuable work is great if you have the opportunity in your life to get paid for things that you love. But it doesn’t have to be that grandiose.
Meaningful work can be found in every moment of our lives it can be found in the service of our friends and our family at home. It could be found in the pursuit of our own personal growth and development. There’s a lot of people who make the mistake of thinking that they need to find their giant passion in life when the practice of meaningful work is available to us in every single moment.
We wake up each day, and we have a chance to live as our masterpiece or at least moving closer towards that to make better decisions, to not fall prey to the negative thinking that consumed us yesterday, to eat healthier foods, to do a little more exercise, to help someone in selfless service.
We also know that when we are in the service of others, we’re able to feel a lot happier. Giving is the gift that gives us so much more, and this is because selflessness means we’re participating in life.
Selfishness is where we feel disconnected, and we’re taking, and we feel disconnected and isolated, that’s when we feel alone, that’s when we feel scared, that’s where we feel defensive, that’s where we feel demotivated.
There is not a single situation in anyone’s life where giving is within our ability to control. We can always do that, and the investments can be small, but that does not mean they’re insignificant.
Pay attention to those things. One thing that is very effective for feeling happier and more motivated is to start doing some journaling on things you’re grateful for in your life and successes that you have every day.
So before you go to bed, write down five things you’re grateful for, five successes. They can be very simple: maybe they’re huge wins, maybe they’re small wins but as we do this and add more awareness to the things we’re happy. And we become happier because our sense of happiness is really a byproduct of some chemistry and our mental activity.
If we have a brain that’s really calibrated with negative thoughts, our experience ultimately ends up being very negative. We have a brain that’s trained to look for successes and gratitude.
We can literally train our mind and thought patterns like we would train a muscle in the gym with conscious attention, with refinement and persistent effort.
When it comes down to happiness, there is nothing external to you that will ever make you happy.
Whatever you think, whatever desire that you want, “whatever you want in life, we hope that you get it because you’ll realize it was not what you were looking for all along” (c)
It’s so true because we will never be happy with things that are external from us from the very nature of our own being. From our conscious awareness from this experience of life, the journey really is the prize.
We see this from people who win lotteries: everyone is working so hard to get money, you win a lottery, you get 50 million dollars these people are depressed or they’ve lost it a couple of years later.
It’s called hedonic adaptation when we get the Ferrari, we get used to the Ferrari and guess what – now we’re envious of the guy who has the newer year of the Ferrari.
It’s an endless game that will never end, and some of us actually need to go through that process of getting what we want to find. It’s not going to make us happy, and ultimately the journey leads us inward. It leads us to look inward into the very nature of our own experience.
The loving relationship. That’s the most important to cultivate is the one you have with you. That’s your most important relationship, and that comes down to you paying more attention to what it’s like to be your exact experience.
Getting present with every moment that is where you will find true joy, and these may just be words to you, but i do hope that you start to walk the path.
You start to be more present in whatever it is you’re doing and find the joy in those moments because it’s sitting inside of us. It’s definitely not something that’s external.
What does help are some external loving relationships? If you have people who are negative and you’re new on this path of happiness and motivation in your life is tough, let’s upgrade your environment and find more positive friends.
If you don’t have more positive friends surround yourself with more positive videos on youtube, more audios music that makes you feel good. These kinds of things are helpful as tools to help connect us to our experience to create an environment of positivity.
It’s like a really great analogy – if our mind is in the thought patterns are creating either happiness or not happiness, and it’s dirty water, what do we do to clean dirty water. We only need to do one thing we need to pour a bunch of clean water into that glass until the dirty water runs clean.
So how do we flood in more better inspiration? How do we improve our relationships both with ourselves and with other people? Health, meaningful work, big or small loving relationships.
These are three ways things that we can focus on.